Just Friends
by Georgie063
Summary: Ryan and Marissa are best friends, no longer lovers. But they could never really be 'just friends'.
1. Chapter 1

**Just Friends**

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**Disclaimer: **Sadly, this all belongs to a man named Josh. Oh, and Frank Sinatra (along with Billie Holiday) sang the song _Just Friends_. All songs quoted are by Frank Sinatra.

Chapter 1: Just Friends

_Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm _

_And your cheeks so soft,_

_There is nothing for me but to love you,_

_And the way you look tonight_

**_"The Way You Look Tonight" _**

"Can you come over? It's an emergency," Marissa pulled on her shirt. Something was missing.

"Sure," Ryan replied, grabbing his keys off the counter. "I'll be there in a minute."

He opened the door of his dorm room and shut it, not bothering with the locks. It wasn't like he had anything valuable to steal anyways. Ryan ran down the hall, hearing loud music coming from his friend Tom's room. Tom couldn't study or do his homework without the music blaring.

Ryan ran down three flights of steps and out the door. He turned left and was soon in front of the girls' dorm. He held open the door for two freshmen girls and then ran up two flights of stairs to Marissa's room. Pounding furiously on the door, Ryan wondered what kind of emergency Marissa had.

She opened the door a minute later—but Ryan's heart was already pounding. What if something had happened to her?

"Hey," Marissa smiled warmly, and Ryan felt the familiar rush of heat to his cheeks, as he often did in her presence. Ryan looked around. He didn't smell anything burning, so that was a good sign. Marissa had managed to burn popcorn in the microwave more than a few times.

"Are you okay? What's the big emergency?" Ryan asked.

Marissa walked back into her dorm room, and Ryan followed, leaving the door ajar. He followed her into her bedroom—Marissa had lucked out and her name had been drawn for a suite. Sure, she had to share with three girls instead of one guy, like Ryan, but there were three bedrooms, a living room, small kitchen, and two bathrooms. It was almost like an apartment, except it was in a large dorm.

"I don't know what's missing from my outfit," Marissa said finally. She pulled at her top, a nervous habit Ryan had noticed years ago.

"_That_ was the big emergency?" Ryan asked dubiously. He'd run over to Marissa's because she needed fashion advice? He felt kind of special; after all, not many girls could rely on their boyfriends for fashion advice. Well…ex-boyfriend. But that was besides the point. They were best friends now, and Ryan had quite the eye for style.

"Ryan," Marissa said, tugging on her shirt, a black lace halter. "I can't figure it out."

Ryan sighed. "Turn around," he instructed the girl, who was already looking perfect. She complied, and Ryan couldn't help but notice how much of a figure she'd attained over the last three years. Marissa was still outrageously skinny, but she had curves now; a butt, and the hint of hips.

"Well?" Marissa asked hopefully. Ryan had never failed her before. He always insisted that she looked flawless, but still ended up finding the missing piece of the puzzle, rather, the missing accessory.

She had on a bright pink flounce skirt with a black lace bow tied around the hips. "Where's that crystal heart necklace you have?" Ryan asked, walking over to Marissa's dresser and opening her jewelry box. "Here," he handed her the clear pink heart on the pink yarn ribbon. Marissa turned around and lifted her hair up.

"Put it on," she said. Ryan put the necklace around her neck and tied it first in a double knot, then a bow. The yarn hung down her back a little, and the heart was up close against her neck. Marissa studied herself in the mirror. "It's perfect," she said finally. "I'd forgotten about this necklace."

Marissa unexpectedly threw her arms around Ryan, catching him off guard. Her cheek was smooth and soft against Ryan's face, reminding him of his need to shave. For a second Ryan stood there, breathing in her sweet, vanilla scent. Then he came to his senses, patted her back as a friend would, and unwillingly pulled his body from her embrace.

"Have fun," Ryan told Marissa, realizing she was going on a date. She was going on a date. A date.

"Thanks?" Marissa seemed surprised that Ryan had brought it up. They never really talked about each others' dating. Marissa had always thought Ryan to be more uncomfortable with the whole situation than she was. And she was pretty uncomfortable talking about it, so that really said something.

"I—uh, I should go," Ryan smiled a little. "I wouldn't want to keep you from your date."

"Yeah," Marissa replied, somewhat sadly. Ryan was just…so sweet. She didn't want him to leave. He was her best friend and knew her better than her best friend for life, Summer. And he looked scruffy, which meant scrumptious. Marissa wanted to capture his scent in a jar so she could smell it whenever she was feeling lonely. Of course she couldn't. Although she'd never tell anyone, Marissa had a bottle of Ryan's cologne in her underwear drawer, but somehow it never smelled quite as good as he did.

"Call me tomorrow. I want to know how your date goes," Ryan forced himself to say. The words were cold and strange on Ryan's tongue. They'd discussed almost everything; secrets were nonexistent in their relationship. Except for the dating topic. Ryan and Marissa never, ever discussed their dating situations.

"I will," Marissa promised. If she'd gone on a date with Ryan, she wouldn't have to call him tomorrow. What was she thinking? She and Ryan were just friends, nothing more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Just Friends**

****

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, this all belongs to a man named Josh. Oh, and Frank Sinatra (along with Billie Holiday) sang the song _Just Friends_. All songs quoted are by Frank Sinatra.

Chapter 2: Lovers No More

_ I'll never smile again _

__

_Until I smile at you_

_I'll never laugh again_

_What good would it do_

_For tears would fill my eyes_

_My heart would realize _

_That our romance is through_

_I'll never love again_

_I'm so in love with you_

**_"I'll Never Smile Again"_**

"What's wrong?" Marissa approached Ryan, who was brooding under a willow tree on campus. Their tree, actually. It had been the site of many a lazy afternoon nap, as well as make-out sessions and midnight rendezvous. The willow tree also held heartbreak in its twisted roots. For it was the spot Marissa and Ryan had decided to just be friends. "You didn't answer your phone."

Ryan kept his head down. "I wanted to get some fresh air," he told Marissa. It was partially true, he'd needed some time to think, away from his roommate, David, and David's sickeningly sweet girlfriend, Diana. But Ryan had also needed to let himself be swept up in the tree's memories. It held snapshots of some of the best times of Ryan's life. They all included Marissa.

"Oh," Marissa said, sitting down on the grass and crossing her legs Indian style. "So you want to hear how my date went?"

Ryan didn't say anything. Instead, he watched three ants struggle with a crumb of bread. It was obvious they'd all be crushed soon, for the third ant could barely grasp its end of the crumb. Yet they all persisted, either not knowing or not wanting to accept their inevitable demise. Ryan opted to think they didn't want to give up.

He told himself that he shouldn't give up, that there was hope. But he and Marissa were just friends now. That's all they'd ever be from now on. Their days as 'the perfect couple' were over. Ryan didn't want them to be. But he needed to move on.

"So," Marissa began, taking Ryan's silence as a yes, "Jordan and I went to see this local band, the Moody Blues. He's a great dancer."

Ryan laughed softly. The Moody Blues? Marissa had always joked that, since Ryan could convey his thoughts with a look, his eyes were 'moody blues'. How ironic.

Marissa smiled and tucked a piece of her long hair behind one ear. She saw Ryan's own 'moody blues' flash briefly with recognition at her mention of the band's name. She'd always called his eyes the 'moody blues'. How ironic.

"And then we went out for ice cream. I got pistachio with Oreo crumbs," Marissa told Ryan, who was a bit jealous that this Jordan kid was a good dancer. He knew he wasn't the greatest, but apparently there was something about Jordan that made him a 'great dancer'. Ryan would try to become a better dancer, if Marissa wanted him too, but she obviously didn't. He had to stop thinking about it. She didn't want him. They were friends, best friends to be exact.

"My favorite," Ryan said. He and Marissa shared a passion for pistachio ice cream with Oreo crumbs. Everyone they knew thought them insane, but it was something they had together, just the two of them.

"I know," Marissa replied quietly. Maybe getting that ice cream had been the wrong choice. When Jordan had first mentioned going for ice cream after the show, Marissa's heart leapt and an image of Ryan was conjured in her mind. She managed to put Ryan in a corner of her mind and enjoy the Moody Blues, and Jordan. But when they'd gotten to the ice cream place, Marissa had automatically ordered pistachio with Oreo crumbs. Which made it impossible for her to get Ryan off her mind.

Ryan was still watching the ants, which were mere inches from their anthill. The three ants, whose precarious situation had seemed hopeless, were going to make it. If they could succeed in an impossible situation, Ryan possibly could. But, like the ants, teamwork was required. And Marissa didn't seem to be planning on joining forces with Ryan anytime soon…probably never again. So Ryan's thoughts were pointless. A waste of time really. Except to Ryan, Marissa was never a waste of time. Never.

"So you had a good time?" Ryan asked, silently cheering as the last ant disappeared into the opening of the anthill.

Marissa shrugged. "Jordan's really nice," she answered, not as enthusiastically as possible, but Ryan didn't notice. "Is something bothering you?" She nudged Ryan playfully. "Come on, you can tell me. I thought we were friends."

_We are. That's the problem._

"Nothing's wrong…and we are friends," Ryan said, although in his head there were other things he wanted to say, probably should have said.

"Are you sure? Is there anything you want to tell me?" Without sounding too desperate or hopefully, Marissa tried to let Ryan know what she was thinking. She wanted him, wanted another chance. But they were just friends, from now on. There would never be a relationship between them, besides the platonic one they currently were in. It was dull. Marissa couldn't even remember why they'd broken up. But all she knew was, she wanted Ryan back, but he didn't seem interested.

_I can't get over the fact that we're through. I won't ever love anyone again, not unless it's you. Because I'm so in love with you._

"I'm fine. Really," Ryan insisted. Marissa knew something was wrong with Ryan, because he was usually talkative with her. Because they were best friends. Just friends, though. Nothing more. They couldn't be. She didn't press him for details though. He'd come to her when the time was right…at least that's what she hoped.

Marissa couldn't be sure of most things these days. She wasn't sure why she wasn't still dating Ryan, but she was sure that she still loved him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Just Friends**

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**Disclaimer: **Sadly, this all belongs to a man named Josh. Oh, and Frank Sinatra (along with Billie Holiday) sang the song _Just Friends_. All songs quoted are by Frank Sinatra.

**Author's Note:** This entire chapter is a flashback. The part between the -/-/-/-/-/- is a flashback within the flashback. If it's too confusing, let me know and I'll clarify it in the next chapter.

Chapter 3: Just Friends

_This is the beginning of the end _

_I can see it in your eyes, in everything you do_

_And you're afraid to tell me that we're through_

_But I can tell by looking at you_

_This is the beginning of the end_

**_"This is the Beginning of the End"_**

"I knew I'd find you here," Marissa whispered, carefully leaning against the willow tree. Ryan was lying down beneath it, basking in the cool shade it provided on the unusually warm April day.

"I'm here," Ryan stated distantly, looking up at Marissa and trying not to cry. Things were just not working out. He loved Marissa, but he couldn't do it. Not anymore. This was it.

"So," Marissa paused, unsure of what she was going to say and how she would say it, "How have you been?"

_Miserable._

"Okay." Ryan painstakingly averted his eyes, resting them upon a small bird strutting along a branch.

Marissa quickly glanced at Ryan, his eyes were glazed over. Either he was seriously sleep deprived, or was trying not to cry but failing. Marissa didn't want to do this to him. She loved him, but things just weren't working. They couldn't do this anymore. At the very most they needed some time apart, to be their own people. Over the years, she'd merged with Ryan and they'd become one person in two bodies. Not necessarily a bad thing, but they were young and impressionable and needed to explore the worlds awaiting them.

"Um," Ryan said. He didn't know how to do this. He loved Marissa. But he needed his space now. Thought he needed his space at the very least. Only time would be able to tell. But what if Ryan was making the biggest mistake of his life. What if he let her go? Still, he had to do it, or else he'd never know what was out there. It was time to exit the comfort zone and move on to unfamiliar territories.

"I think…" Marissa started, then stopped, biting her lip for what would be the first of many times that afternoon.

"I think…" Ryan began, but had to stop mid-sentence because his eyes were tearing over and he had to get his emotions in order. Because the last thing he wanted to do was cry in front of his girlfriend, soon to be ex girlfriend.

"I think we should just be friends," Ryan blurted out at the same time Marissa spat the words out before she could swallow them. They looked at each other, not wanting to believe the other's words, but at the same time relieved that they'd said it together.

"So, that's it, I guess," Ryan said slowly. This was it. Ryan felt…empty. It was for the best. If they were meant to be they'd find a way to be together, in the future. Now was the time to broaden his horizons and experience the world. It was time. But it didn't feel like time.

Marissa shrugged, biting her lip again. She let one tear escape, but firmly shut the gates on the other tears. No way was she going to give Ryan the satisfaction of seeing her cry, although Marissa didn't really believe he was like that. This was the right thing to do. It had to be. Because the right thing to do always hurt.

"I'll see you around." Marissa slowly walked away from the willow tree, leaving her relationship and heartbreak buried with it. Maybe one day she'd be lucky enough to have a happy experience beneath the willows, but for now, this was right. She hoped it was. Ryan was the best thing to happen to her in a long time, and she hoped she wasn't letting him slip away. Forever. If it was meant to be, Ryan would come back to her. Eventually. It was true, it had to be.

Ryan laid under the willow…their willow, for hours. He'd lost track of time after Marissa had left. She'd taken a piece of his heart and Ryan didn't have the strength to stand up. Not yet. It would get easier with time, he told himself. It had to. Or else he didn't know what he would do until he met Mrs. Right. Ryan had the feeling that Marissa was Mrs. Right, but he had to cast a line into the dating pool before he could know for sure, that Marissa was the only fish in the sea for him.

"We're just friends now," Ryan said out loud, but to himself. Just friends. That was a new concept for him, and one that would definitely take some time for him to adjust to.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-Flashback/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

"So, what's up with you and Marissa?" Seth opened the dishwasher and took two bowls and two spoons out. Ryan got the milk from the refrigerator and the cereal from the cabinet. He and Seth sat down at the table.

"We're friends," Ryan said. Marissa had wanted to get back together with him, but the truth was, he couldn't handle being romantically involved with her right now. Not after…all that had happened. He wanted to be her boyfriend, but for now all he could offer her was friendship.

"Friends?" Seth scoffed, "You and Marissa could never be 'just friends'."

Ryan considered this while he put a heaping spoonful of cereal into his mouth. Summer walked into the kitchen wearing very short shorts and a yellow zip up jacket. She had a pink and red bathing suit on underneath.

"Hey Cohen, Chino," she greeted the boys, kissing Seth on the cheek, seeing as his mouth was full of cereal.

"Summer," Seth acknowledged his girlfriend as soon as he swallowed his cereal. "You'll never guess what Ryan just told me!"

"What?" Summer asked, figuring it was something stupid, like it always was with Ryan. Even though he was okay and all…Summer would never admit it to him.

"He and Marissa are starting over…"

"That's great! I wonder why Coop didn't tell me," Summer said, smiling. "Congrats, Ryan."

"…as friends," Seth finished gleefully. Summer's jaw dropped, and amusement soon took the place of shock in her eyes.

"They're 'just friends'?" Summer asked, smiling.

Ryan nodded. "I don't know what the big deal is," he said quietly, and chewed on more cereal.

"Chino," Summer told him, "You and Marissa could _never_ be 'just friends'."

Seth folded his arms triumphantly. "I told you, Ryan. I knew I wasn't the only one who thought it!"

Ryan shrugged and shook his head. "We're just friends."

Summer rolled her eyes and gave Seth a knowing look. "Sure you are…"

Sandy walked into the kitchen, wet hair plastered to his face and a wet t-shirt and bathing suit on.

"Morning," he greeted the three teenagers.

"Hi, Dad," Seth said.

"Mr. Cohen," Summer smiled brightly.

"Sandy." Ryan nodded his head.

"So Marissa and Ryan are starting over, Dad," Seth announced.

"Well, isn't that great," Sandy said, clapping Ryan on the back. "Good for you. I knew you two would work things out."

"No Dad, you don't seem to understand. They're starting over as _friends_."

Sandy raised his right eyebrow, which was a slightly less bushy than the left one. "Marissa and Ryan are 'just friends'? I find that hard to believe."

"Ha," Summer laughed in Ryan's face, as did Seth. "Everyone knows you and Marissa could never be 'just friends'. It's like, physically impossible. And emotionally."

Ryan laughed inwardly and continued eating his cereal.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-Flashback/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Ryan watched a group of senior boys play soccer. Some of them weren't half bad. None of them were on the team, like he was. Marissa came to every one of his home games, but now that they weren't dating, she'd probably stop. It had been nice, always having his own personal cheerleader at games.

God, he missed her already. Had he made the right decision? When he'd come out to the willow tree earlier, he knew Marissa would be able to find him there. And he'd been right. Ryan also knew that, as soon as she got there, it would be the beginning of the end. And that it was.


	4. Chapter 4

**Just Friends**

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**Disclaimer: **Sadly, this all belongs to a man named Josh. Oh, and Frank Sinatra (along with Billie Holiday) sang the song _Just Friends_. All songs quoted are by Frank Sinatra.

**Feedback**: Greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for the kind reviews. Last chapter seemed to confuse some of you, so let me explain. The whole chapter was a flashback to the day Marissa and Ryan broke up. Then, the part in between the -/-/-/- was a flashback to yet an earlier period of time, I guess during the whole Oliver debacle. It was just to show that everyone knew Ryan and Marissa could never be 'just friends', and something like that was said on the show.

**Author's Note:** This is my longest chapter yet, but it will probably be the longest chapter I have, so enjoy it while it lasts! I guess I just kept writing and writing and I had to get all of the ideas onto paper, or rather the computer screen.

Chapter 4: But Not Like Before__

_You know the one I love belongs to somebody else_

_That's why she sings her songs to somebody else_

_And even when you have your arms around her_

_You know her thoughts are with somebody else_

**_"The One I Love Belongs to Somebody Else"_**

Marissa uninterestedly pressed the playback button on her answering machine. She had two new messages. The first one was from Jordan, asking Marissa if she wanted to go out the next day. And the second message was from a boy named Mike, who was friends with Isabel, one of her roommates. He wanted to take Marissa out as well.

She didn't see why she shouldn't. After all, she and Ryan were just friends. He hadn't seemed to care much about her date with Jordan so why shouldn't she? It wasn't as though she and Ryan were going out. Because they weren't, and could never do so again. It just wasn't going to happen, much as Marissa wanted it to. So there was no reason not to date other people. Especially when Ryan didn't want her anymore.

"Hello?" So far, so good. Mike had picked up on the second ring, a sure sign that he was waiting for her call, but not that he was _too_ desperate that he waited with bated breath by the phone.

"Mike? It's Marissa," Marissa said, trying to sound happy, more happy than she was feeling. Mike's voice didn't make her giddy and all jumbled up inside, like Ryan's did. But then again, Mike wasn't Ryan.

"How are you, Marissa?" Mike asked. Another good sign; he was concerned about Marissa and not self-absorbed.

"Good," Marissa said, worried because she definitely hadn't convinced herself of her well-being and wasn't so sure that Mike would believe her either. Marissa knew she would be telling the truth only when she was with Ryan. And that would be impossible. Because they were just friends, and that's all Ryan ever wanted to be, since their break-up. She could learn to be 'good' with Mike, or at least try her hardest.

"Great. So did you want to go out tonight? I mean, if you're not already busy," Mike rushed anxiously.

"No," Marissa said, in response to _if you're not already busy_. She really wanted to say no to his first question, but in her heart knew that she had to move on, and stop believing in the impossible. "I'm free."

Mike exhaled in obvious relief. "How about I pick you up at seven? I know where you live."

"Sounds good," Marissa replied, "See you then."

She put down the phone and briefly considered calling Ryan. They could have a good laugh over _I know where you live_, as it totally sounded like a stalker or serial killer's words. But she couldn't. Ryan's voice was too painful for her to hear, if she did hear it the words she'd been wanting to say for so long would somehow escape her lips. And embarrass her and ruin her friendship with him. With that, any chance of getting back together with Ryan would be gone, but it wasn't like there was a chance in the first place. Still.

As Marissa began to get ready for her date with Mike, she picked up the phone and dialed Ryan's number three times. But she hastily replaced the phone in its cradle before the first ring. She couldn't ask him to come over and help her get ready. She couldn't laugh with him about Mike's weird choice of words. She couldn't tell him she loved him, and would rather be going out on a date with him.

Mike rang the doorbell just as Marissa applied a fresh coat of lip-gloss. She grabbed her purse, turned off the light in her bedroom, and opened the door.

"Hi." Mike hugged Marissa. "You look great."

"Thanks, you too." And it was true. Mike had short brown hair that was gelled at the top and looked great on him, although other guys wouldn't be able to pull it off. He had sparkling green eyes, but they didn't hold a candle to Ryan's brilliant blues.

Later, they were at the restaurant, eating spaghetti and having a good time. Well, Mike was having a good time. Marissa was trying to make conversation but her heart just wasn't in it. It was somewhere else, belonged to someone else. Ryan.

"You look really beautiful," Mike said, and took Marissa's hand in his.

"Thanks." But she would've believed it more if it had come from Ryan. Of course, it didn't, and probably never would, again.

After the date, which had included a boring, no-sparks kiss, Marissa curled up on her bed in a hooded sweatshirt and Harbor sweatpants. She picked up the phone reluctantly and dialed Jordan's number. She really didn't want to talk to him, but felt she had to at least call him back.

"Hi Jordan, it's Marissa."

"Hey. What's up? Where were you today? I called you three times."

He was too pushy. That was Jordan's first flaw. He wasn't Ryan. That was Jordan's second flaw.

"Oh, nothing really. Look, Jordan, you're really nice but I don't think it's going to work out."

"Oh." The disappointment was evident in Jordan's voice.

"I'm sorry…I guess I just realized I still had feelings for someone else." Marissa bit her lip, she hated doing this to people, but it would be even crueler to lead them on when her heart was tied to someone else's.

"Oh," Jordan said again, his voice flat and emotionless. Marissa knew he was upset though. "Maybe we can hang out sometime…as friends."

"That'd be great." Marissa knew they wouldn't actually hang out. If Jordan liked her then he wouldn't want to be 'just friends'. She wasn't stupid…at least not that stupid.

It was time to make the third phone call of the day. But, unlike the others, Marissa was pretty sure this phone call would only end up breaking her heart even more, and not his. Ryan's.

"Hey," she said, as soon as Ryan picked up. He'd picked up on the fourth ring, a sure sign that he didn't care about her, didn't love her. It was obvious. But she had to try and tell him how she felt somehow. Even if it was subtle and Ryan was guaranteed to pick up on her hints.

"Marissa?"

"Yeah, it's me. I need some advice."

"I'll be over in five minutes."

Marissa waited anxiously for Ryan to arrive at her dorm room. When the knock finally came at the door, she jumped up and ran to answer it. She opened the door and led Ryan to her bedroom.

"So?"

Marissa was quiet for a minute, thinking of how to word her feelings, without just coming out and saying how she felt about Ryan. Because he obviously didn't like her, and if he did, he'd be able to pick up on her signals.

"There's this guy…" she began, and failed to notice Ryan's jaw muscles tighten. "I like him…okay I think I love him, but I don't know if he feels the same way. And I'm afraid to tell him because I don't want to ruin what we have right now. Know what I mean?"

Ryan knew exactly what she meant.

_I feel the same way about you._

But instead, he had to play the role of Marissa's best friend and help her with her guy troubles. "Well…I don't think you should tell him how you feel. If you have a good thing going right now, you don't want to ruin it, right?"

So Ryan was being a little selfish. But it hurt him that Marissa could be having such strong feelings for a guy that wasn't him. It hurt, a lot. Even though he knew they could never be again. She just didn't feel the same way about him that he felt about her. Ryan loved Marissa, but he was just her best friend now.

Marissa's heart sank. So he didn't love her, didn't realize that the guy was him. "Thanks," she said softly, feeling her heart break again. Why had she even broken up with him? She'd gone and done exactly what she didn't want to do—she'd let Ryan get away. The One. She was fairly sure that he was The One for her. But she obviously wasn't The One for him. Otherwise he wouldn't have given such cruel, heartless advice. He didn't know. And couldn't.

"I mean, if you really love him, tell him you think you're falling for him. I guess…I just want you to be happy. I don't want to see you hurt." Ryan saw the downcast look on Marissa's face when he gave his advice and felt badly. No, he didn't want Marissa loving another guy, but she looked so sad that it wasn't fair. But it wasn't fair to him either.

Marissa was thoroughly confused now. Did he love her or not? Ryan's second piece of advice seemed to suggest that he knew it was him. But he wasn't acting like it.

"You look tired. Sleep on it," Ryan suggested. He kissed the top of Marissa's head, willing himself to break away before he couldn't let her go. "Good night."

"Good night," Marissa forced herself to say. That kiss had been purely friendly. Marissa knew it was just a brotherly, best friend feel-better kiss that meant nothing more to Ryan. Or so she thought…

Ryan let himself out of the dorm room, mentally kicking himself for not saying how he felt to Marissa. After all, he'd just encouraged her to tell this guy how she felt, so he should've followed his own advice. But it was hard, especially when the one he loved, Marissa, her heart belonged to somebody else.


	5. Chapter 5

**Just Friends  
**  
**Disclaimer:** Sadly, this all belongs to a man named Josh. Oh, and Frank Sinatra (along with Billie Holiday) sang the song Just Friends. All songs quoted are by Frank Sinatra.  
  
**Author's Note:** This entire chapter is a flashback. If it's too confusing, let me know and I'll clarify it in the next chapter.  
  
Chapter 5: To Think of What We've Been  
  
_Day by day I'm falling more in love with you _

_And day by day my love seems to grow _

_There isn't any end to my devotion It's deeper dear, by far than any ocean  
  
I find day by day you're making all my dreams come true _

_And come what may I want you to know _

_I'm yours alone, and I'm in love to stay _

_As we go through the years day by day  
  
**"Day by Day"**_  
  
Marissa finished putting her dangly earrings in her ears, ignoring the incessant knocking at the door. All three of her roommates were in the dorm room, but none had the stamina to answer the door. It was understandable— midterms had kept the girls up late almost every night for the past two weeks, studying and cramming. But each girl had taken her last exam today, and could now relax for the next two months. Or six weeks. Whatever.  
  
She hobbled to the door, one shoe on and the other in her hand.  
  
"Coming!"  
  
Marissa opened the door, still struggling with her shoe. Two hands reached down to steady her small frame, and she finished putting the second shoe on. Then two bright blue eyes found their place across from hers, and closed as they came closer and closer. Ryan kissed Marissa and she closed her eyes as well.  
  
Ryan opened his eyes. "You look gorgeous." And she truly believed it. Coming from him, it was sincere and not just a ploy to get in her pants. After all, he was her boyfriend and could do that anyway. But he meant it.   
  
"Thanks," Marissa replied. "Let me just get my purse."  
  
Ryan nodded and headed into the living room. He sat down on the black leather couch, and turned on the TV. 'Let me just get my purse' was akin to 'Let me just fix my makeup and spend thirty more minutes in the bathroom doing God knows what'. But surprisingly, Marissa was standing in front of the TV, hands on her hips, in less than a minute.  
  
"I said I was just getting my purse," she said.  
  
"But…you always take more time…" Ryan said, realizing how stupid he sounded afterwards. He pointed the remote at Marissa and the TV clicked off. "You ready to go?"  
  
Marissa nodded. Ryan stood up and took Marissa's hand. They walked out of the dorm and shut the door behind them, but didn't bother to lock it because Marissa's roommates were still there. Once they reached the parking lot, Ryan opened Marissa's door and helped her get into the Range Rover. Marissa kissed him lightly on the lips. She was so lucky to have a guy like Ryan. She loved him so much and he loved her as well. And he was the perfect gentleman.   
  
"So where are we going?" Marissa asked. Ryan shrugged. "Ooh, a surprise! I like surprises."  
  
Soon they came to a stop outside of the architecture building where Ryan worked a few days a week, in between classes. Ryan saw the disappointed look on Marissa's face. "Don't worry," he assured her, "This isn't where we're going. I just forgot something important. I'll be out in a minute."  
  
He left the motor running and got out of the car, leaving Marissa to wonder what he could've possibly forgotten, and what was so important about it. She looked at the keys in the ignition. On the chain was a picture of her and Ryan, kissing. Ryan had his graduation cap in front of their faces, but you could still tell they were kissing. It had been taken on the day of their high school graduation. Such a happy day, and Ryan wanted to remember it. He was so incredibly sweet. His entire wallet was filled with pictures of Marissa, of him and Marissa, one or two pictures of the Cohens, and one picture with him, Marissa, Seth, and Summer. But it was obvious who was the star of his wallet, and who was at the center of his heart--Marissa.  
  
Ryan walked back outside and got into the car. He was empty-handed. "What did you forget?" Marissa asked curiously, "And where is it?"  
  
Ryan shrugged. "Are you ready?" Seeing that Ryan didn't want to tell her--at least not yet--Marissa decided not to press Ryan for details. Instead she nodded her head and kissed his neck. "If you do that, I won't be able to drive," Ryan said, as he let out a small moan. Marissa's kisses always tickled him and gave him a warm, tingly feeling inside.   
  
They arrived back at the campus parking lot and Ryan parked. "That's it?" Marissa asked. So she'd gotten dressed up to go to Ryan's office to pick up something? That was very unlike Ryan.   
  
"Just wait," Ryan told her. He turned off the car and was around to Marissa's side of the car to open the door before she could respond. He took her hand and locked the car. Ryan led her across the grass and she stumbled over a hole in her three inch stiletto's. Ryan caught her by the arm and she gently fell backwards into him. Marissa giggled. Ryan was always there for her--literally.   
  
Soon they approached the willow tree, their willow tree. A black and white checkered blanket was spread out beneath its branches, and a large picnic basket was in the middle.   
  
"I couldn't find a red and white blanket," Ryan apologized. Marissa rested her head against Ryan's shoulder.   
  
"It doesn't matter." And it didn't. Ryan and Marissa sat down on the blanket and he opened the basket, taking out a bottle of champagne and two glasses. "Oh, Ryan, this is gorgeous." He'd begun to light two candles and placed them in candlesticks that he'd also brought along.   
  
"Just like you." Ryan smiled and took out a bottle opener. He opened the champagne and poured its bubbly contents into the glasses. "Cheers."  
  
Marissa clinked her glass with Ryan's. "To us."  
  
"To us."  
  
Marissa leaned in and kissed Ryan, tasting like champagne and mints. He gently nibbled on her lower lip, then pushed his tongue between her lips and passionately explored the innermost confines of her mouth.   
  
Champagne forgotten, the kisses increased in urgency and passion. Ryan ended the kiss abruptly. "I have something for you."  
  
He reached into his pants pocket and withdrew a small black velvet box. He opened it, and Marissa gasped. "Oh, Ryan…"  
  
"Shh…" Ryan said, taking the white gold ring with its pink sapphire and two diamonds out of the box and placing it on Marissa's slender finger. "It's a promise ring."  
  
"Ryan…this is too much," Marissa whispered, a tear of joy rolling down her face.  
  
"Not for you, Marissa. I love you."  
  
"I love you too." Marissa's lips met Ryan's. This was perfect. Ryan was perfect. They would last forever. At least Marissa hoped they would. She had the sweetest guy in the world, and never wanted to let him go.   
  
Ryan opened his eyes but continued to kiss Marissa, his girlfriend. The moonlight filtered through the shade of the willow tree and cast a magical light on Marissa's face, her ring, and her entire body. Anyone looking at them would've thought the pair were glowing. And they were right. Ryan and Marissa were glowing with a pure love for each other.  
  
Ryan hoped this night would last forever, though he knew it couldn't. All he could do was hope for many more nights like this one, with the love of his life under the willow tree.  
  
Marissa knew she'd never forget this night. A beautiful moonlit champagne picnic with the one she loved, Ryan, what more could she ask for? Many more nights like these, hopefully many more years like this year, and a whole life with him. They were meant to be, she knew it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Just Friends**

  
  
**Disclaimer:** Sadly, this all belongs to a man named Josh. Oh, and Frank Sinatra (along with Billie Holiday) sang the song Just Friends. All songs quoted are by Frank Sinatra. 

**Author's Note:** Some people were confused again, so just to tell you--last chapter was a flashback. Please read the author's note (if there is one) at the beginning of each chapter in order to understand what I'm doing here. This is in the present, and the rest of the chapters (there are fourteen) will be in the present too. 

Chapter 6: And Not To Kiss Again

_When an irresistible force such as you  
Meets an old immovable object like me  
You can bet just as sure as you live  
Somethin's gotta give  
Somethin's gotta give  
Somethin's gotta give  
_  
_When an irrepressible smile such as yours  
Warms an old implacable heart such as mine  
Don't say no, because i insist  
Somewhere, somehow, someone's gotta be kissed  
  
So, en garde, who knows what the fates might have in store?  
From their vast mysterious sky?  
I'll try hard ignorin' those lips that i adore  
But how long can anyone try?  
  
Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight it with all of our might_

_**"Something's Gotta Give"**_

"You get it yet?" Ryan asked. Marissa was lying on her bed, feet dangling over the edge, eyes poring over the algebra text. Ryan was trying to teach her some of the concepts of algebra for her test, but Marissa was just not getting it. And she had an exam in two weeks--not exactly a sufficient amount of time to re-learn all the concepts.

Marissa shook her head glumly. "I think I'm a hopeless cause."

Ryan got up from his position on the floor and sat down on the bed next to Marissa, patting her back. "No," he insisted, "I'll do whatever it takes to make you understand. I promise."

All Marissa really needed was a kiss, maybe a hug, and to know that someone loved her. Namely, Ryan. But he didn't. She did somewhat understand the math, thanks to him. But so much was preoccupying her mind right now, it was hard to concentrate. Like how close Ryan was to her and the feeling of his hands on the small of her back. She wondered what he would do if she just reached up and kissed him…

"Why don't we take a break?" Ryan suggested. Being with Marissa made it hard to concentrate on teaching her algebra. He was well aware of how close he'd gotten to her, and had to constantly watch his hands to make sure they didn't travel to inappropriate places. After all, they were just friends. It wouldn't be right. Especially when Marissa loved some other guy. Even sitting this close to her on the bed was risky. But she didn't seem to be saying anything. He wondered what she would do if he just leaned down and kissed her…

"Good idea," Marissa agreed. She rolled off the bed, somewhat reluctantly, after all, Ryan's body had been touching hers, and the heat flowing between them had been undeniable. She went over to the mini fridge and took out two root beers, tossing one to Ryan.

"Thanks," Ryan said, opening his can and taking a swig. Marissa did the same, and an awkward silence settled about the room. "So…how are things with that guy?"

"I haven't talked to him, actually," Marissa admitted. "I'm not sure it's the right thing to do."

Ryan shrugged. "What do you have to lose?"

You, Marissa thought, _and your friendship_. _And my heart_. "Nothing, I guess," she fibbed. Ryan looked at her curiously. "Really, I guess I should tell him. Maybe part of my heart is telling me not to, that I'm not in love with him, even though I think I am." That couldn't have been further from the truth. Marissa knew she loved Ryan, with all her heart and soul. But he didn't know that he was the guy.

"Well," Ryan boldly took a step closer to Marissa, who in turn lay down on the bed. Ryan followed suit, so their heads were touching, as were their thighs and legs. Marissa turned on her side so she was facing Ryan. "Maybe you should date other people, you know, to see if you really love him or not." What was he doing? He was describing their situation precisely. But Ryan didn't realize it. Marissa, however, was much more perceptive, and immediately realized this. She decided against saying anything though. Maybe she'd speak with her lips…No, she couldn't do this, because Ryan was so obviously not talking about their present situation. He definitely didn't know that he was the guy. She couldn't let him know, not when he was blindly giving advice he himself had used.

"I don't know, we both know how that ends up," Marissa laughed uncomfortably, before she could stop herself. Ryan raised his eyebrows.

"Do we?" Ryan asked, lowering his voice.

Marissa shrugged and bit her lip, embarrassed. "Sorry, I didn--"

"Don't be," Ryan cut in sharply. "I guess we haven't really written the ending to our own story."

He gently cupped Marissa's chin in his hands and kissed her, and both let out a sigh of relief.

Finally, Marissa thought, _one of us was bound to do that sooner or later._

Finally, Ryan thought, _one of us was bound to do that sooner or later._

He wrapped his arms around her neck and began to nibble on her lips, very tenderly, and Marissa moved down to leave a feathery trail of kisses on his neck. She rolled on top of Ryan, pinning him down, and the passionate urgency of their kisses intensified.

"I--I can't do…we shouldn't do this…" Marissa stammered, coming to her senses--what senses?--and standing up. Ryan looked at her with a confused expression on his face.

"But…" he stuttered, sitting up, "What--?"

"It was a mistake," Marissa snapped at him, "A momentary lapse of judgment."

Mouth agape, Ryan stared at Marissa. What was she talking about? He wanted her, oh so badly. But her heart belonged to this other guy, obviously. How could he have been so stupid, making a move on her while she was in love with another? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Marissa blinked back tears as she grabbed her purse. Why was she doing this? She loved him, wasn't this what she wanted? Oh, it was, but for some reason unbeknownst to Marissa, her body was telling her no. She didn't know why, and knew that her heart was breaking at this very moment--as was Ryan's, judging by the shocked look on his face--but nevertheless she took a deep breath and said, "I have to go…think…I…don't…what I…want…"

She left Ryan sitting helplessly befuddled on her bed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Just Friends**

  
  
**Disclaimer:** Sadly, this all belongs to a man named Josh. Oh, and Frank Sinatra (along with Billie Holiday) sang the song Just Friends. All songs quoted are by Frank Sinatra. 

**Author's Note:** The next two or three chapters might be disappointing, but don't worry, because they are just the beginning of something wonderful. So please don't give up on me on chapters seven thru nine/ten, I will try to get them out quickly so we can get to the good stuff!

Chapter 7: Seems Like Pretending

I saw you last night and got that old feeling

When you came in sight, I got that old feeling

The moment that you danced by, I felt a thrill

And when you caught my eye, my heart stood still

Once again I seemed to feel that old yearning

Then I knew the spark of love was still burning

There'll be no new romance for me, it's foolish to start

'cause that old feeling is still in my heart

**"That Old Feeling"**

"Hey," Ryan looked up from his beer and the TV, where he was watching the Lakers game.

"What are you doing here?" Marissa asked. Ryan was in her dorm, drinking her beer, watching her TV. And this made her very, very uncomfortable, especially after yesterday's kiss. She didn't want to talk about it though, she'd already mentally kicked herself a thousand times for not snagging Ryan when she had the chance--again.

"Justin and Brad are having a PS2 competition, and didn't want to watch the game," Ryan shrugged. Was she going to bring up the kiss? He prayed she wouldn't; he'd already been embarrassed enough last night. He guessed he knew the ending to their story now: he was still in love and would always be, while she had moved on. It was true, heartbreaking, but true. So he had to act nonchalant.

Marissa nodded her head slowly. What was she supposed to say? She bravely got a beer from the mini fridge and sat down on the couch--quite far away from Ryan though. She missed the electric sparks running through her body, like they did when she and Ryan were touching. And she missed the heat from his body. Heck, she missed everything about him.

"Can I ask you something?" Marissa started. Ryan braced himself for the inevitably embarrassing question. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks and undoubtedly give them a red glow. Marissa couldn't do this. She just couldn't. So instead, she had to settle for the next best thing--denial. "I was thinking…that maybe I should approach this guy and let him know."

Ryan stared at Marissa. Was she really not going to ask him about the kiss? Hallelujah--although he was somewhat disappointed, the kiss obviously meant nothing to her and she'd already moved on.

"Sorry," Marissa rushed, opening her beer and taking a long sip, "I guess I've been boring you with my trivial guy problems."

"No, no," Ryan replied, "You're my best friend. It's what I do--listen."

Really, all he could think about was last night. And how it was then that he knew how their story would end if it were up to him. Because Ryan had that old feeling resurfacing, the one where he was falling, falling in love, and it was delightful.

"I think he might love me, but I seem to be repelling him. I don't know why," Marissa admitted. It was semi-like her own situation. Ryan had come on to her, and all she could do was push him away. She wasn't sure why. But if they were meant to be, they'd have another go at it. Just not now. Marissa didn't understand, but then again, love worked in mysterious ways.

"Give him some time," Ryan suggested, just as he was planning to do with Marissa, "Then I guess you should talk to him about what you're feeling. Even if it doesn't make sense, at least you'll be trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together."

"You're right," Marissa said, smiling broadly. She'd give Ryan some time. And then she'd make her move, corner him and talk to him about it. Ryan had never been one to talk _that_ much, but this was their future. So Marissa would wait a few days, or even weeks--if she could last that long--and then she would tell Ryan exactly how she felt. Yeah, that's what she would do.

Or maybe just a day would suffice. After all, it was hard for Marissa not to jump Ryan right now, with that old feeling, that spark of love, burning deep within her heart. She loved him, she knew that much. But she had to follow his advice, of waiting a little while. Maybe two hours would be enough? Marissa had to leave, before she couldn't control her desires anymore and would do something rash.

"I've got to go…I'll talk to you later." In one last act of bravado, Marissa flung her arms around Ryan. "You're the best best friend a girl could have."

Ryan smiled, but kept his eyes on the game. His fingers were itching to touch Marissa, to hold her in his arms and not let her go, and he knew that if he so much as looked at Marissa, he wouldn't be able to control himself. He'd have to wait, just like the advice he'd given her. Ryan just hoped he'd get to Marissa before she got to this other guy, whoever the lucky fellow was.

She let herself out of the dorm and ran down the hall, she needed to get as far away as possible from Ryan, from the love of her life. Marissa really wanted to act on those old feelings that were creeping up her spine and sending shivers down her back, but she just couldn't. Not yet. Even though she loved Ryan, she needed to wait, just on the off chance that there was someone else waiting there…was that really the reason though? Marissa knew she'd never love anyone else again, it was foolish to even try. But she had to at least pretend the year hadn't been wasted pining over Ryan. She couldn't lie to her heart, though.

And she knew she would be able to pretend that that kiss hadn't happened…for long.

Ryan couldn't bring himself to concentrate on the game after Marissa left. The vanilla scent mixed with a stronger, manly scent that she'd left wafting around his head was making him dizzy. And not because he was allergic to perfume, because he wasn't. Because it was Marissa's smell, her unique, sexy smell that he wanted to breathe in forever. He just didn't understand the kiss from the other night. Marissa had acted like it had never happened.

And Ryan just couldn't do that, not when all of his old feelings were resurfacing, stronger and more passionate. He loved her, regardless of whether she loved him or not. Ryan would never love another. It was true, much as he tried to tell himself it wasn't.

Ryan knew that he couldn't lie to his heart.


	8. Chapter 8

****

Just Friends  
  
**Disclaimer:** Sadly, this all belongs to a man named Josh. Oh, and Frank Sinatra (along with Billie Holiday) sang the song Just Friends. All songs quoted are by Frank Sinatra.

**Feedback: **Greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for the kind reviews.

**Author's Note:** I couldn't decide which song to use for this chapter, so I used two. I just wanted to let you know.

Chapter 8: It Isn't The Ending

Just say that I'm a friend of yours and maybe they won't get wise

And if they see us together, I'll brush the dream from my eyes

I'll tell my heart it mustn't seem the song of remember when

Just say that I'm a friend of yours that you happen to meet again

"A Friend of Yours"

I need your love so badly, I love you oh, so madly

But I don't stand a ghost of a chance with you

I thought at last I had found you but other loves surround you

And I don't stand a chance of a ghost with you

If you'd surrender for just a tender kiss or two

You might discover that I'm the lover meant for you

And I'd be true

But what's the good of scheming? I know I must be dreaming

'cause I don't stand a ghost of a chance with you

"Ghost Of A Chance"

"Hold on, Marissa, call waiting," Ryan said, pressing the _Flash_ button on the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Ryan, it's Christi."

"Christi?"

"Yeah, your roommate, Justin, he gave me your number."

"Oh…okay."

"So I was wondering, are you seeing someone? Because I've been hearing rumors that you and this Marissa chick are still together."

"No," Ryan replied quickly, "We're not. Do you want to go out tonight?"

"Yeah. I'd like that. Why don't we meet outside of your dorm, and then see where it goes from there?"

"Sounds good. How's eight?"

"Great. See you then."

Ryan pressed _Flash_ again. "Back," he said to Marissa.

"Who was it?" Marissa asked, somewhat annoyed. Ryan was testing her for her upcoming algebra exam, but they'd decided it would be safer to do it over the phone. And they'd decided this without even mentioning the kiss from a few days ago.

"No one," Ryan said smoothly, hoping he didn't sound as nervous as he felt. This was his first date since he and Marissa had broken up, although Marissa had gone out with countless guys. He guessed Marissa really didn't care about him, otherwise she would've held off dating so many guys. She really went through three a week, at one point.

But now that Ryan had his date lined up, he was regretting it. He didn't want anyone but Marissa, so why had he agreed to a date with Christi, a girl he didn't even know?

--Three weeks later--

"Ryan?"

"Hey Christi."

"Can I come over?"

"Not right now. I'm trying to help Marissa study for her algebra re-test."

Marissa had been so distracted by thoughts of Ryan that she'd been unable to concentrate on her algebra test. She'd barely scraped by with a C-, but her professor was kind enough to allow her a retest. He'd then average the two grades.

"Marissa again? I swear, Ryan, you spend all of your time with her. And not me." Ryan could practically see Christi pouting on the other end of the phone. She had a nice little pout going on, with her full lips. He really liked her, and was beginning to think he had a chance of getting over Marissa. A very slim chance, but a chance nonetheless. Christi was a great girl, and was majorly into Ryan.

"Sorry," Ryan said. "Look, why don't we meet up in an hour? Come over to my place…we can have some lunch, then go see a movie or something."

"Sounds great!" Christi babbled. "See you later, hon."

Ryan smiled and hung up the phone. He should spend more time with Christi; after all, it wasn't he who had run away after the kiss, it was Marissa. She obviously was over him, so why shouldn't he feel the same about her? Because he loved her. But right now, Christi was on the radar, and Ryan tried his hardest to push Marissa to the back of his mind.

A little while later a knock came at the door of Ryan's dorm. Marissa had gone back to her dorm, complaining of a headache, but Ryan suspected she didn't want to meet Christi. From what he could tell, Marissa had heard about the bubbly Christi and didn't think she was good for Ryan. Even though Marissa was his best friend, Ryan chose to ignore her warnings and just have a good time.

"Hey." Ryan greeted Christi with a kiss on the lips.

"Ryan, we need to talk." Uh-oh. Was this the breakup talk? Ryan cringed. "No, Ryan, it's not bad…not really." What the hell did that mean? Ryan knew that if Marissa were here, she would know what it meant. But Marissa wasn't here, and Ryan really needed to stop thinking about her.

"Okay…"

"Ryan, I really like you. But you seem like you're still in love with Marissa. Every time I call, she's over at your place or you're over at hers. And you're always too busy with her. If you still love her, just tell me, so I don't waste my time any more." So Christi was jealous? Of him and Marissa? They were just friends though.

"We're just friends, Christi."

Christi scoffed. "Yeah, and I'm Miss Piggy. Come on, Ryan, don't lie to me."

"I'm not!" Ryan retorted. Was he? Could Christi tell that he still loved Marissa, even though nobody knew his true feelings? "Look, what do you want me to do? She's my friend, my best friend."

Christi shrugged. "Come on, Christi, what? I'll do it, just tell me. I care about you." Ryan probably should've broken it off right then and there, but he wasn't thinking clearly.

"I want you to stop seeing her. Don't talk to her, don't make plans with her. That's what I want." Christi crossed her arms. "I know it's unreasonab--"

"I'll do it," Ryan found himself saying, to the surprise of Christi and, more importantly, himself. Had he really just said he'd sever all ties with Marissa, his best friend and true love?

"Really?" Christi asked, throwing her arms around Ryan. "I love you."

"Mmhmm," Ryan mumbled into Christi's bleached blond hair. It didn't smell as good as Marissa's did. Oh, damn it. He had to stop thinking about Marissa. After all, he'd just made the decision to be with Christi.

"So I think you should tell her as soon as possible," Christi said, kissing Ryan's neck, and under his chin, where he was especially sensitive.

"Okay." Ryan slowly removed himself from Christi's embrace. "Maybe I should tell her today. Without you here."

"Good idea," Christi agreed. She kissed him on the lips once more. "Call me later!"

She left the room, leaving a very confused Ryan behind.

"Marissa?"

"Ryan."

"Can you come over? Like, now?"

"Is it important?" Marissa yawned. She'd been half-sleeping, half-studying for algebra. She finally understood it, but now she was just practicing to make sure she didn't forget. She was going to show Ryan, she didn't need his help to excel in math. Oh, no she didn't. For all she cared, Ryan could spend every waking second with Christi, his new obsession. And Marissa would be totally okay with it.

No, she wouldn't. Marissa was already angry with the time and attention Ryan was giving Christi. _She_ was supposed to the main woman in his life. She'd thought for a while that Ryan might love her too, but she was obviously _so_ wrong. He was moving on, very quickly too. And Marissa had lost her chance to tell him how she felt. She'd waited, just like he'd told her to, and was planning to tell him her feelings. But then he'd gushed about Christi nonstop, so she hadn't been able to.

"Yeah," Ryan said, not sounding _that_ urgent but he had this way of being nonchalant about everything and then the depth of it would sink in and he'd have a breakdown. So Marissa grabbed her keys, but knew she wouldn't bother to lock the door.

"I'm on my way." She turned off the phone and threw it on the couch.

Ryan paced around his dorm room anxiously, waiting for Marissa to arrive. But at the same time, he was dreading it. What was he supposed to say to her?

My girlfriend, whom I don't even love, wants me to stop being friends with you. And I'm doing it, even though I'm in love with you.

That definitely wouldn't do. All too soon there came a knock on the door. Ryan opened it and Marissa rushed into the room.

"Where's the crisis?" she asked worriedly.

"Um." Ryan took a step closer to Marissa. "I have some bad news." Marissa hoped he'd broken up with Christi. But if that was bad news to him…

Ryan seemed to be breathing rapidly and unsteadily. "Christi doesn't want me to see you anymore."

"What?" Marissa was shocked. That little bitch. "What did you say?" He had to have broken it off with her…he wouldn't do this to her, would he?

Ryan looked down at the carpet. Marissa was standing on a rather large beer stain. He'd have to try to clean that up later. "I'm sorry…" he finally said. Marissa's jaw dropped. How could he!? So he really didn't love her, not even in a platonic friend way.

"Ryan…how could…you?" Marissa whispered. "I thought we were friends…I should go. I wouldn't want _Christi_ to walk in here and see us together, you know."

Ryan's heart broke again when he saw the downcast look on Marissa's face. She looked lost and utterly alone, which, upon thinking about it, Ryan realized she was. Maybe he'd made a mistake…but it was too late now, or was it?

Ryan hugged Marissa tightly, breathing in her rough vanilla scent for what he hoped wouldn't be the last time. "This isn't the end," he whispered into her soft, lovely hair. It was so much nicer than Christi's.

What was he doing? Ryan was still in love with Marissa. But if it was meant to be, they'd end up together, some way, some how, some day. He watched a tear roll down Marissa's face as she broke away from his embrace and ran out the door. It was all Ryan could do not to run after Marissa, tell her he loved her, and beg her not to leave him again.

The only way he could console himself was to murmur out loud, "It isn't the ending." And it wouldn't be, they'd see, one day…


	9. Chapter 9

****

Just Friends

Disclaimer: Sadly, this all belongs to a man named Josh. Oh, and Frank Sinatra (along with Billie Holiday) sang the song _Just Friends._ All songs quoted are by Frank Sinatra.

****

Chapter 9: Two Friends, Drifting Apart

__

This time we almost made the pieces fit, didn't we?

This time we almost made some sense of it, didn't we?

This time I have the answer right here in my hand,

Then I touched it, and it has turned to sand.

****

"Didn't We"

"Ryan," Christi said, walking into Ryan's room. He was toweling off after a shower and didn't turn around. "Ryan, why did you call Marissa?"

Ryan turned around. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

Christi held up Ryan's cell phone. "You called her twice yesterday, and once the day before. I thought you agreed not to talk to her anymore."

Ryan's eyes narrowed. "Why are you going through my things?"

"Oh Ryan," Christi smiled sweetly, "I'm your girlfriend. I have the right to look through your stuff."

"No you don't. And you're not my girlfriend," Ryan spat angrily.

"What? We've been going out for two months, what do you mean I'm not your girlfriend?" Christi's smile was gone and a frown replaced it. "Ryan, what's gotten into you?"

Ryan was seething by this point. How dare Christi go through his personal belongings! And he'd just said she wasn't his girlfriend…was that a sign? Because she was definitely his girlfriend ten minutes ago.

"We're through," Ryan decided, "I can't take this any more."

"Ryan, wait, I'm sorry…" Christi trailed off as Ryan grabbed her jacket and threw it at her. "Please, just hear me out…oh baby!"

"Leave." Ryan's voice was low, but firm and insistent. Christi caught her jacket and sniffed, running out of the room. "And don't come back!"

Once he heard the door to his dorm room slam, Ryan thumped down on his bed. What had he just done? Why had he just broken up with Christi, besides the fact that she went through his belongings without permission? He knew, he'd known it for months, ever since he and Marissa broke up actually. He still loved Marissa. That was why. It would always be why he broke up with girls, unless he got Marissa again. Ryan knew it was true; he just wouldn't find happiness with anyone but her.

Ryan picked up the phone and dialed the number he'd barely been able to dial the past two months. Yeah, he'd definitely made a mistake in agreeing to not see or speak with Marissa, although they did speak occasionally.

Things just weren't the same. Ryan knew Marissa was upset—incredibly upset—with him for even half going along with Christi's wishes. She was his best friend and ex-lover after all, even though they both wanted to be together again.

"Hi, Marissa." Ryan was hopeful that she would be understanding, and proud of him for finally sticking up to Christi.

"Ryan? Does Christi know we're talking?" Marissa had this thing about being careful around Christi. But Marissa didn't know that Christi now knew about Ryan and Marissa's occasional talks.

"Yeah," Ryan answered, "She went through my cell phone records so I dumped her. Can you come over?"

"You know Ryan," Marissa said exasperatedly, "I'm not at your beck and call. We might be best friends, or at least we used to be, but it was really low of you to ditch me because your bimbo girlfriend was threatened by me. Because, in case she—and you—didn't know, we're through, and we will be through for the rest of our lives!" And with that, Marissa hung up, instantly regretting her words. She wanted to be more than just friends with Ryan, but she'd just told him that she didn't. And to top it all off, he was finally single again!

But if he really wanted her, he'd have to come and make an effort to get her. She wasn't going to just be there whenever it was convenient for him.

Ryan sighed, listening to the dial tone buzzing in his ear. He could still hear Marissa's cruel words in his head. She didn't really mean it, did she? Ryan hoped not. He wanted to be more than just friends with Marissa. But she apparently didn't.

He had to admit, it was preposterous of him to think that she'd just run over because he was through with Christi, as a friend or more. But the other part of him had just woken up and realized that he wanted Marissa. And she quite possibly wanted him.

--2 weeks later--

"Uh, you wanna go see a movie?" Ryan asked tentatively. Marissa had been successfully avoiding him for the past two weeks and she'd finally answered her phone. "As friends."

"Just friends?" Marissa asked hopefully, just to be sure. She really wanted Ryan to insist that it was a date, that he loved her and wouldn't take no for an answer. But she knew he wouldn't. Ryan just wasn't that kind of guy. He was the strong, silent type, something Marissa loved about him but really hated at certain times. And one of those times was now.

"Yeah," Ryan said, urgently pushing the other things he wanted to say out of his mouth.

__

I don't want to be just friends. I want it to be a date, I want to hold your hand in the movie theater and put my arm around you. I love you, if only you'd let me love you.

"Well…I don't know," Marissa hesitated, "I've already got plans with Karlye, Mitch, and Robbie."

"Oh." So she was going on a date. She obviously didn't love him. Ryan's heart sank. "So maybe we could grab a cup of coffee after your date?"

"It's not a date."

So it wasn't a date. Did Ryan actually have a chance? Could Marissa possibly love him?

"So a cup of coffee sounds great." Marissa broke out into a huge smile. It might not be a date, but it was something. A chance to see Ryan was always good news to her.

"Five-thirty okay?"

"Yeah, see you then."

--

Ryan waited fifteen minutes before calling Marissa. He took one last sip of his latte for caffeine and dialed her number.

It rang three times before one of Marissa's roommates picked up. "Hello?"

"Is Marissa there?"

"Yeah…one sec." The girl set the phone down on the table and knocked on Marissa's door. "Marissa?" She opened the door cautiously and saw Marissa sleeping, fully clothed, on top of her comforter. She quietly closed the door and went back to the phone. "She's sleeping."

"Thanks." Ryan sighed and ended the call. So she was sleeping. She didn't care enough about their friendship to set a goddamn alarm, so that she could meet her supposed _best friend_ for coffee.

They'd drifted apart, much to Ryan's dismay. It had to do with the fact that they could never be 'just friends'. Ryan felt hurt, though, that Marissa didn't seem to want to be 'just friends' with him. She didn't want to be anything with him.

Ryan loved Marissa, not his friend, but his soul mate. He'd get her back, some way, some how.

He realized now, that he and Marissa could never be 'just friends'. But he'd be her friend first, he didn't want to drift further away from her than he already was. Then, Ryan would tell her how he felt. Because their friendship was suffering, their potential love life was suffering, and Ryan was suffering.


	10. Chapter 10

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Just Friends

Disclaimer: Sadly, this all belongs to a man named Josh. Oh, and Frank Sinatra (along with Billie Holiday) sang the song _Just Friends._ All songs quoted are by Frank Sinatra.

Author's Note: This chapter was mostly about Ryan and Marissa's friends, I know, but it was kind of just a filler, setting up for the next chapter. You guys won't be disappointed with Chapter 11. It will be up tomorrow.

****

Chapter 10: Two Friends, But One Broken Heart

Heart of mine, let another heart be part of mine

Let another dream be the dream I'll follow

Let me hear a voice, a secret voice, a voice that will say

Come to me and be what I need you to be

Long alone, I have sung a loser's song alone

Unbeknown I built my hopes through her

The other hearts I found are tightly bound together

But mine, the loneliest of hearts is mine

It tasted of the bitter wine

It's lost, gone and lost, heart of mine

"Heart of Mine"

"Liza, I just don't know what to do," Marissa complained to her friend. She picked up her foot and studied the nail polish critically. Liza pulled her foot back down.

"Would you stop moving!" Liza snapped. "Marissa, I told you, just tell him. God knows you've waited long enough!"

"But Liz." Marissa put her foot back down, and Liza began to paint a top-coat on the nails. "What if he doesn't feel the same way? Then I'm going to look like a foo--"

"You're going to feel like a fool if you don't take the chance," Liza interrupted Marissa. She loved Marissa, but honestly, the girl was so dense sometimes. "You've got to take a risk now and then…I just thought you were willing to do that kind of thing for Ryan. But if you're not…"

"No, I definitely am," Marissa declared suddenly. Liza smiled internally. She was good, too good. Now she only had to hope that David would do as good a job as she on their other lovelorn friend.

"So just tell him how you feel. The worst he can do is say no. Then, at least you'll know how he feels and you'll be able to move on."

Marissa knew Liza was trying to help, but even if Ryan didn't love her like she loved him…she'd never be able to stop loving him. But Liza was right; once Marissa knew, her heart wouldn't hurt quite as much.

--

"Look man, you've got to talk to her," David pleaded with his friend. Ryan shook his head and bit into a slice of pizza topped with peppers and mushrooms.

"I've tried, Dave, I've tried to let her know how I feel, but she obviously doesn't feel the same way." As much as it hurt to admit the truth, Ryan felt a tiny bit better after saying it. It made it all the more real, not a dream in his head, but all hope was flushed out of his body.

David made a loud grunting noise; his mouth was full of pizza so he couldn't really talk. "You have to at least let her know. And I don't mean trying to communicate by ESP!"

"Why? What's the point? What if she doesn't love me, then what?" Ryan asked. Since when did David know all the answers? Well…he had been dating Liza, Marissa's friend, for over three years. And they were the happiest couple Ryan knew.

"Then you know for sure how she feels, and you can move on. Forget about her…or at least try to." David grinned at Ryan, but quickly changed his expression to a sympathetic one after seeing the downcast look on Ryan's face. "You need to know. It's not fair to either of you, or us. You're driving me crazy with this 'should I or shouldn't I' crap. Just tell her how you feel."

Ryan glared at David, but smiled after. "You know what? I'll tell her. What's the worst that can happen? She'll turn me down?" He joined David in laughing. But really, he knew there to be something much worse. Ryan's heart would be permanently crushed, he wouldn't be able to go on with his life, what was the point in living when The One didn't love him?

But he had to try. It would be so worth it, if Marissa felt the same way. There was no escaping it. Ryan had to know.

--

"Ryan's driving me crazy. He's so damn miserable without Marissa. He better tell her how he feels soon," David said to his girlfriend. They were sitting on his eating Chinese food, hoping their friends would heed their advice and get back together.

"Ohmigosh! Marissa is driving me insane. Every second she's second-guessing herself, like whether or not she should tell Ryan how she feels. I'm like, girl, you're going to regret it if you don't tell him." Liza rolled her eyes for emphasis.

"That's exactly what I told Ryan, babe." David leaned over and gave Liza a butterfly kiss. "We are so alike."

"We are," Liza agreed. "That's what I love about you."

"What?"

"That you're so like me."

"Oh. So do you wanna go over to Ryan's and see if they're there, going at it like animals? Or should we try Marissa's place first?"

"David," Liza chided, "Give them some time. Knowing Ryan and Marissa, they haven't even worked up the courage to confront each other yet. We'll go over tomorrow night."

"Okay, baby."

Liza kissed David and began to gently nibble on his lower lip. He cupped her jaw in his hand and kissed her passionately. Just when things were beginning to get hot and heavy amid the remains of Chinese food, Liza sat up.

"You know what I think?"

"What?" David was clearly not interested, merely aroused. "Come on, let's go to my room."

"Ryan and Marissa are, like, two friends with one broken heart. It's so sad, don't you think so?" Liza ran her hands through David's chestnut brown hair. He gulped, Liza was making it _very_ hard to breathe, forget thinking.

"It is sad," he managed to agree, "But when they get back together, it's going to be all the more sweet."

"You are so right." Liza smiled, cocking her head. "Come here, baby."

David crawled right next to Liza and they again forgot the Chinese food.

--

Ryan lay on his bed, phone by his side. Every time he picked the phone up, his hand started to shake and his heart raced. Ryan couldn't do it…not yet. For he feared Marissa would turn him down, would tell him she didn't love him. And right now, Ryan didn't have enough strength or courage to face that likelihood.

Marissa lay on her bed, phone by her side. Every time she picked the phone up, her hand started to shake and her heart raced. Marissa couldn't do it…not yet. For she feared Ryan would turn her down, would tell her he didn't love her. And right now, Marissa didn't have enough strength or courage to face that likelihood.

If only each knew what the other was thinking…


	11. Chapter 11

****

Just Friends

Disclaimer: Sadly, this all belongs to a man named Josh. Oh, and Frank Sinatra (along with Billie Holiday) sang the song _Just Friends._ All songs quoted are by Frank Sinatra.

****

Chapter 11: We Loved We Laughed We Cried

From this day forward, I promise you with all my heart

That we shall never be apart, from this day on

From this day forward, I'm yours to call your very own

I live my life for you alone, from this day on.

On and on, I'll welcome each new tomorrow

Knowing that our tomorrow is here

On and on, and even beyond forever

Heaven is mine whenever you're near

From this day forward, I give you me with all my love

From this day forward, from this day on

****

"From This Day Forward"

Marissa watched a couple gaze lovingly into each other's eyes. They were so in love, so happy, she and Ryan had once been that way. Why couldn't they be that way any more? She was determined to make things right with him, once and for all. But she couldn't go after him. If Ryan could find her here, then she'd know for sure; they were meant to be.

--

__

Pick up, Marissa, Ryan thought to himself, listening to the phone ring for the third time. Why wasn't she picking up? Why weren't her roommates picking up, either? He slammed the phone down. He'd just have to go over there.

Ryan grabbed his keys, not bothering to lock the door. He ran down the steps and out onto the lawn, sprinting across it until he reached Marissa's dorm. Once he reached her door, he knocked loudly twice.

One of Marissa's roommates, looking quite disheveled in just a men's shirt, came to the door.

"Ryan?"

"Is Marissa here?" Ryan asked hopefully. The girl disappeared back into the dorm suite and reappeared a moment later.

"No," the girl said. "Sorry." She smiled apologetically and shut the door. Ryan stood in the hall, trying to figure out where Marissa might be.

Then it hit him. He ran down the steps and out the door onto the green lawn. Disrupting a casual three-on-three soccer game, he sprinted towards his destination, hopes high at the slight shadow of a person.

Marissa was waiting under the willow tree. Ryan came closer and closer, chest heaving up and down and cheeks reddening from the physical exertion.

"Marissa," he panted heavily, stopping short at the sight of the beautiful, teary-eyed girl. "I can't deny it any more. I love you."

With gray-blue eyes Marissa looked up at Ryan. He was out of breath and…had he just said he loved her? Ryan carefully bent down and sat next to Marissa. She scooted over a little so their thighs were touching, sending sparks of pent-up electricity through both of their bodies.

"I…love you," Marissa managed to say, awestruck by Ryan's sudden proclamation.

She turned and arranged herself so she was in Ryan's lap. Ryan put his arms around Marissa and twisted her body gently so that she was facing him. He slowly lifted her chin with his hand and kissed her.

Not too forceful, or too passionate, the kiss was just that. It was the perfect kiss, the kiss of love. Both Ryan and Marissa had been waiting for it for so long, for too long. And finally, they could enjoy it.

Ryan's hands traveled to the small of Marissa's back, where she was quite sensitive. Marissa moaned as his hands slipped under her shirt and began to trace letters on her back. She pushed forward and Ryan fell back onto the grass, Marissa on top of him. She writhed as his lips left imprints on her neck, her collar bone, her shoulders. He sent shivers up and down her spine. Marissa had to bite her lips to keep from crying out; they were in a public place, after all.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do this," Ryan murmured, kissing Marissa's ear and letting his tongue slip out and boost her already heightened senses.

Just as Ryan was beginning to forget--to care--about where they were and the fact that it was only late afternoon, Marissa giggled into his mouth.

"What?" he asked, resting his cheek against Marissa's.

"The whole year I've been trying to work up the courage to tell you how I feel," Marissa explained, "If only I had just sucked it up and told you…"

"I called you dozens of times," Ryan admitted, "But I always hung up before you answered. Or, once you answered, I'd freeze up and say nothing."

Marissa kissed Ryan's nose, laughing. "So you were the one I thought was my stalker. Every time I answered the phone, there was nothing but quiet breathing."

"So you've felt this way all year?" Ryan asked tentatively. He liked the weight of Marissa on his chest; he hadn't realized how much he missed it until now. He liked being able to feel her heart beating against his.

"Since the day we broke up," Marissa admitted, "I knew I'd made a mistake."

"But now we're together." Ryan smiled. This was quite possibly one of the best days of his life. The love of his life was in his arms. What more could he want?

Ryan closed his eyes and basked in the light filtering through the shady branches of the willow tree. Their willow tree. It was a symbol of their love. He opened his eyes only when he heard a soft sobbing coming from Marissa.

"What's wrong?" he asked instantly. Had he done something wrong?

"Nothing…" Marissa sniffed, "I'm just…so happy. But also somewhat sad because we wasted a year. A whole year."

Ryan kissed her softly on the lips. "We'll make up for lost time." He winked at Marissa.

She sniffed. "You know, I somehow believe you. I love you, Ryan."

"I love you, Marissa."

Ryan and Marissa lay there for a few more minutes, Marissa's head resting in the crook of Ryan's neck. "This tree is like, a symbol of our love. It's been our tree for…"

"Ever?" Ryan offered.

"Yeah. Forever." Marissa ran her hands through Ryan's sandy colored hair. "And it's always been there…and our love I guess has always been there."

Ryan silenced her with a deep kiss. It was filled with more passion, more heartfelt emotion, than he'd ever been able to give her. "I love you," he whispered. "We're going to last forever this time."

****


	12. Chapter 12

**Just Friends**

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, this all belongs to a man named Josh. Oh, and Frank Sinatra (along with Billie Holiday) sang the song _Just Friends._ All songs quoted are by Frank Sinatra.

**Feedback:** Your comments are greatly appreciated. Thank you to everyone who has stuck by me for the duration of my first (published) story. Did I mention that reviewing gets chapters posted more quickly?

**Author's Note:** Since this chapter is so short, Chapter 13 will be posted later today.

Chapter 12: Then Suddenly Love Died

_The music stopped, but we were still dancing_

_Which goes to show that music has charm_

_The lights were low so we kept on dancing_

_I felt the glow of you in my arms_

_The band had left the stand, and we were in heaven_

_Dancing on a cloud, way off in the blue, the music stopped_

_And people were glancing, but we went on dancing_

_For we didn't know, because the lights were low, and we were in love_

**_"The Music Stopped"_**

_Crack!_

"Did you hear that?" Marissa asked Ryan, while flipping through the pages of the latest Cosmopolitan. Ryan was lying on Marissa's bed, head in her lap, eyes closed.

"It was probably just the thunder," Ryan said. Marissa looked out her window, seeing steady streams of rain on the window and lightning lighting up the sky.

"No," Marissa insisted, "It sounded like…something got struck by lightning."

Ryan opened his eyes and stared up at Marissa. "Something probably _did_ get struck by lightning."

She rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him. "Get up." Ryan didn't move. "Move," she ordered, picking Ryan's head up and shoving him off of her. She got up, threw the magazine on Ryan's chest, and walked over to the window. "Maybe it was your dorm…" she joked, but trailed off as she saw what had been hit. "Ohmigosh…"

Ryan sat up. "What is it, Marissa?"

Refusing to answer Ryan, Marissa ran out of her room. A minute later Ryan heard the door slam. He got up and looked out the window. It was quite hard to see, what with the rain blurring everything. But Ryan could see well enough to see what the lightning had hit.

Their willow tree.

He ran out of the dorm suite as fast as his muscled legs would take him.

As soon as Ryan stepped outside, he was soaked. Just like that. He could only imagine what condition Marissa was in, and mentally kicked himself for not running after her sooner.

She was kneeling by the willow tree, weeping. Ryan ran over to Marissa and slipped in the muddy mess the rain was creating, but managed to keep his balance.

He knelt down beside her. "Marissa, it's okay." Ryan tried to soothe Marissa, but she recoiled at his touch.

"No…it's not…okay," Marissa whispered between trembling sobs, "the willow tree is dead."

"I know…"

"No, you don't know! The willow tree stands for us! And it's dead. What's going to happen to us, Ry?" Marissa had stopped crying momentarily, but her eyes were dangerously filling with more tears. "Is this…going to be us?"

She turned to look at the tree, which had snapped in half. Ryan put his arm around his trembling girlfriend and guided her over to the tree. They sat down on the fallen trunk.

"Baby…we won't die. Not like the willow tree," Ryan said. He felt like he was trying to explain heaven to a child whose parent has just died. Whatever he said, he wasn't sure it would console Marissa.

Marissa buried her head in Ryan's shoulder, her lips pressed up against his damp neck. She wasn't kissing him though. She breathed unsteadily on his skin, drying it temporarily from the driving rain.

"I don't want this to be us…"

"We won't break, Marissa, I promise."

"But what if we do? What if this is a sign?"

Ryan considered it briefly. What if it was a sign? He was so sure it wasn't. Marissa was the one who needed reassuring. They'd been through too much to stop here. They were meant to be. Trees did not live forever, and no, people did not. But true love would last forever, whereas the tree definitely could not.

Marissa broke apart from their embrace. She ran her still trembling fingers along Ryan's forearms. "I've got to go…"

"Marissa, wait…don't go!" Ryan didn't go after Marissa. She turned around, a salty mixture of tears and rain dripping down her face and blurring Ryan's features. "Why are you doing this?"

"I don't know…" Marissa admitted, looking directly at Ryan but somehow avoiding his questioning eyes.

With bated breath, Ryan waited for her answer. Why was she doing this? Did she really think a tree's fate would befall them too?

Marissa took a deep breath, sucking in rainwater and coughing a little. Finally, she began…


	13. Chapter 13

**Just Friends**

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, this all belongs to a man named Josh. Oh, and Frank Sinatra (along with Billie Holiday) sang the song _Just Friends._ All songs quoted are by Frank Sinatra.

**Feedback:** Your comments are greatly appreciated. Thank you to everyone who has stuck by me for the duration of my first (published) story. Did I mention that reviewing gets chapters posted more quickly?

**Author's Note:** There's just one chapter left.

Chapter 13: The Story Ends

_I thought I knew, the magic of you_

_And then, you kissed me_

_Dear, when you kissed me_

_I simply stood there and gazed, completely amazed_

**_"And Then You Kissed Me"_**

Marissa hesitantly took a step backwards, farther away from Ryan. He gulped. Was she going to run? Then, Marissa looked over her shoulder. Ryan cringed. This was it. She was really going to ditch him because of the dead tree. He couldn't believe it. Their love was stronger than that, he knew it was!

Ryan felt a pair of warm, wet hands cup his jaw. Marissa was mere inches away from his face, and her lips were moving, breathing warm, sweet air onto his damp skin.

"Ryan," Marissa said gently, "I can't let you get away because our tree died. Our love isn't going to die just because of the tree."

Ryan let his lips do the talking. He firmly pressed his lips up against Marissa's, licking her upper lip to taste the salty tears she'd just been crying. Opening his mouth, he enveloped Marissa in a deep, passionate kiss.

Neither noticed the rain stopping and the sun coming out, along with the faintest traces of a rainbow. That is, until Marissa shrieked and began to shake her leg. "There's an ant up my pants!"

Ryan could hardly suppress his laughter. He bent down and stuck his hand under the soaked material of Marissa's pants, feeling around until a small ant found its way into his hand. He gently removed his hand and placed the ant on the ground, letting it scurry away into safety.

His eyes couldn't help but follow the ant to its anthill. Ryan remembered the perseverant ants he'd watched a while back. They had made it, just like he and Marissa were going to make it, just like this one ant was going to make it.

He and Marissa hadn't given up, weren't going to give up. They were strong, their love for each other was strong.

"What are you thinking about?" Marissa asked. Ryan tore his eyes away from the ant, who was crawling into its anthill, and focused on his beautiful girlfriend.

"You," Ryan answered, lowering his voice. "I love you."

"I love you too." Marissa leaned in for a sweet, breathtaking kiss from Ryan, but he put his hand to her lips. She opened her eyes, surprised. "Wha—"

"Don't ever do that to me again," Ryan pleaded. "I don't think I can hold my breath that long next time."

"Oh, there won't be a next time, Ryan." Marissa smiled. "You're in this for the long run, now. There's no escaping me."

"And that's a bad thing because…?" Ryan closed his eyes and placed his hand around the nape of Marissa's neck, drawing her in closer. Just as their lips met, Marissa giggled, and a feeling of warmth spread throughout Ryan's body.

This was real. This was what he'd been looking for all along. He'd had it in the first place. When he and Marissa had broken up, Ryan hadn't been so sure they were right for each other. But they'd found their way back to each other, and now he knew for sure.

They were meant to be. This was how it was supposed to be. He was supposed to be falling more in love with Marissa every second. With every breath he took, Ryan was falling…

Marissa opened her eyes for a moment and gazed at Ryan. His eyes were closed, full of concentration. On her. She was completely amazed. Even just a few weeks ago she would've been dreaming of a night like this.

Ryan was once again in her arms. She'd spent too many nights crying over him, thinking of whether or not she should tell him how she felt, how she'd always felt. Now they were together.

Marissa would be open with Ryan this time. She wanted him, needed him, and most definitely wasn't going to let him go…not again.

Everything was perfect…almost everything. She stole a look over Ryan's shoulder and felt a pang of unhappiness when she saw their willow tree, split in two, bent over like an old woman plagued with arthritis.

Perfection could be easily achieved. For now, she'd just focus on kissing Ryan.


	14. Chapter 14

**Just Friends**

****

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, this all belongs to a man named Josh. Oh, and Frank Sinatra (along with Billie Holiday) sang the song _Just Friends._ All songs quoted are by Frank Sinatra.

**Author's Note: **This is the end of **Just Friends**, my first fanfic. Thank you so much for the encouraging reviews. They really meant a lot to me. I have a few stories in the works so they should be coming out soon. Until next time…

Chapter 14: And We're Just Friends

_And when she holds my hand, mmm, mmm_

_And I will understand, mmm, mmm_

_One kiss afire with one desire, a heavenly kiss could I resist?_

_And then I turn the light, mmm, mmm,_

_And then she holds me tight, mmm, mmm_

_One kiss one fond caress will lead the way to happiness_

_She takes me to paradise_

**_"Paradise"_**

"You missed a spot," Marissa pointed. Ryan obligingly shoveled a bit more dirt onto the spot. "Perfect."

Ryan turned around to kiss Marissa. He had dirt on his nose and his cheeks were flushed and dirty. With grass stained hands he kissed Marissa, just a quick kiss. It lingered on Marissa's lips even after he'd broken away from her. That was the power of love.

The two rested their eyes on the newly planted tree, which was really just a fresh mound of mulch. A willow tree, it was to be. Right now, it was just a seedling, but in time it would grow into a large, full-bodied willow tree. They'd rescued seeds from the fallen tree before a crew came to remove it. Now, the tree had a new beginning, just like Ryan and Marissa's love.

It was already strong, already had the promise of a great future, but would grow to exceed expectations. Ryan had never felt so in love before, not even with Marissa. He guessed that the time apart had made them closer than ever.

Seth had been right about one thing—he and Marissa could never be 'just friends'. Ryan wondered if Seth remembered saying that. Probably not. But Ryan appreciated Seth's truths; if anything, they helped him realize that he needed to tell Marissa how he felt, or risk losing her forever.

Ryan felt Marissa's hand slip into his. They stared at the dirt, which they'd faithfully water every day, until a sprout appeared. It was exciting, starting over. A new beginning, really.

Marissa turned to kiss Ryan. Her teeth gently nibbled on Ryan's bottom lip, and he explored the innermost confines of her delicately featured mouth.

It was paradise. Anywhere felt like paradise when Ryan was with Marissa.

Seth had been right; he and Marissa could never be 'just friends'. It was better this way, too.

Ryan couldn't believe he'd ever thought there was someone other than Marissa that would make him this happy. Because, quite honestly, no one had ever made him feel the way he felt at this moment. And every moment of every day would feel spectacular and amazing, because they would all be shared with Marissa.

Marissa's kisses set Ryan's heart ablaze with happiness and passion. He couldn't believe he'd wasted all that time, unsure of whether or not he should tell Marissa how he felt and if she felt the same way.

Because she obviously did.

"I love you," Ryan said. "I'm glad we're not just friends anymore."

"So am I, Ryan, so am I," Marissa smiled. This was paradise. She was in heaven…at least she felt like she'd died and gone to heaven. She and Ryan were perfect for each other, she was sure of it. "I love you too."

--

"Hey Seth."

"Ryan, how are you?"

But before Ryan could answer, Seth continued.

"So, Summer tells me you and Marissa are back together." Seth's voice contained a hint of amusement, topped with curiosity.

"Yeah," Ryan replied nonchalantly. He knew what was coming. It would be futile to direct the conversation away from it.

Seth laughed. "I knew you and Marissa could never be 'just friends'."

Ryan turned and looked at the sleeping beauty next to him. _His_ sleeping beauty. Last night hadn't been their first time, after all, they were two college kids in love.

But it had been the most meaningful, most mindblowing, most passionate night of sex Ryan had ever experienced. Because he was head over heels in love.

Seth had been right. Ryan sweetly kissed Marissa on her forehead, careful not to wake her up. "I guess we could never be 'just friends'."


End file.
